**worryworryworryworry**

When I was a baby my Mother taught me, as she did all other babies before and after me, to say "worryworryworryworryworry". She'd hold her hands up in front of the baby's face (think jazz hands...) and repeat it over and over, "worryworryworryworryworry". Very monotone and in her deepest of deep lady voice. The babies would stare transfixed at her and eventually hold up their hands and we too would repeat "wooywooywooywooywooy".





So, I guess you can say I came by it honestly - my love of worrying.





I suppose its not so much of a love of worry but an obsession really. I've spent most of my life trying to control the worry with plattitudes. "Don't worry, it might never happen"...as much as I've tried to convince myself that the worst will never happen - some times bad shit happens to people. Sometimes we are all going to be that guy: your house will burn down, you parents will die, your husband will leave you, your kid will fall off the monkey bars and break their arm, you will get cancer, you will grow a big hair right in the centre of your chin and you will not get the job/man/girl/house/car/life that you want. Shit just sometimes happens. Of course, it also might never happen.



I think that the book "the secret" is good AND bad. I read someone's blog the other day touting its power to bring you stuff that you want. I respect that it works for her. I really really do. But, in essence, isn't the secret just a self fulfilling prophesy? If I believe it then it must be true/will be true. I'm not sure and I don't want to doubt anything that Oprah likes because I am convinced the blog police monitor blogs for anti-Oprah sentiments and if you speak against her - oooooh bad shit can happen to you. Perhaps that is where that chin hair came from?



I generally am full of piss and vinegar. On a good day I think I'm great and smart and funny and should likely rule the world - if I told you all how to live your life - how happy you would all be! It is the times when I'm alone and its too quiet that I let the self doubt creep in and allow my mother's mantra to infiltrate my tiny mind. I really MUST stop doing that. Does everyone do that? Did my mother teach you all? Damn she was good.