My very first Rick in a Series of Many

When I was 13 years old my best friend was as smart as a doorhandle. Her name was Debbie and she was very pretty. All the boys liked her. I hung out with her because - she was a pretty dorky stupid girl and I could easily make her laugh. And I got to hang with the boys.

She had a party one night - her parents were out and we played Styx over and over and over again.

"Babe I'm leaving, must be on my way...."

It was at that party that Debbie made out with THE most gorgeous guy I'd ever seen - at the time anyway - Rick. Ohhh he had dark thick wavy hair that was just a bit too long. He wore braces -which was V sexy for the time and he had a tall lanky swimmers body. So cute. So nice. So into Debbie. So what? I just sat on the couch ate chips and talked to his friend Mike. Mike was uglier, fatter, shorter and just seemed annoyed by Rick.

Soon after this party, they stopped being friends. Stuff like that happens easily when you are 13. Soon after that party Debbie dumped Rick too. She found an older boy - 17 - who filled her make-out needs more completely. And soon after, Rick and I became friends, and I dumped Debbie. She was way too slow on the uptake for me. Even then I had an intollerance for those who are slow of wit.

So Rick and I started to hang out. First I used the family pool to invite him over to my house. Then he and I would hang out in his family's attic. We did 13 year old stuff - wrote poetry, shared it - listened to music - read parts of novels out loud to one another. What do you mean that's not what 13 year old girls do with their 13 year old male best friends? It was normal to us.

Rick was gay. Obviously. But he was my first gay best friend. He was sarcastic and funny and mean. He was fashionable and critical and girly. Upon reflection 25 years later, it was as if he read the manual on "gay 101" and followed the rules right from the get go.

We finished grade 8 together like siamese twins. And when we started grade 9 we were in the same class and always together...until *insert ominous dandandunnnnnn here* the twins came along!

Mark and Mike were twins. Adorable fraternal twins. Kind of awkward. Kind of goofy. The kind of guys that everyone liked. They wanted to hang with Rick and I. At first it was both. Then Mark. Then Mike. It didn't bother me, because personality wise they were just like Rick. And they liked the same things that we did. And hey.....maybe they were gay too? Of course they were.

Now, by that time I was 14 and I knew what gay was. It was boys who liked boys. Gheesh - everyone knew that. And Rick was, well, gay - like on Three's Company when Jack pretended to be gay. I was a woman of the world and accepting of all others. I was liberalism personified at an exceptionally young age. I had a gay best friend.

Until I saw it. I saw Rick and Mark making out. Kissing and groping and hands down each others pants. They stopped. Looked at me. And laughed. And then they went right back at it.

I wasn't fine. I was far from fine. What the flaming Jesis was that? I mean sure I knew - I mean I thought I knew - I'm sure I knew that boys made out with boys - and If there were no girl parts to deal with of course they would deal with boy parts - oh of course they would. Shit. Shit Shit shit shit shit.

I left the attic and sat on the front porch. Mike said - did you catch them at it again? And, having recovered my senses by that point I said "sheesh - again!" and acted like nothing happened. Cause I was a woman of the world with a gay best friend and this was just something that wasn't going to freak me out. Nope. Not me.

Then Rick and Mike started seeing each other behind Mark's back. And I had to play interloper and the whole threesome took on a life of its own. I enjoyed the intrigue - the theatre and the mayhem that ensued! Nothing is quite so fun as a bunch of boys having hissy fit girl fights about who loves who more!

And each time I saw them kissing or making out it got a little easier. Acceptance doesn't come without thought - its something that you have to work at sometimes. I saw a lot. I'm to a point now where NOTHING shocks or bothers me. I think at this point, I've seen it all.

So, Rick was my first. My first gay best friend. My first boy on boy kiss. But he wasn't the best best friend by a long shot. As a matter of fact, he turned out to be quite an asshole. He and his boyfriend told me that my first real boyfriend was gay. They insisted that he couldn't possibly be with me - big homo queer that he was. And the fuckers were right - he was. I hate that.

His boyfriend (that same one) died of AIDS in the late 90s - the two of them were together for almost 20 years. It was terribly sad. When he and I met up many years later, he hypothesized that an entire generation of people had lost their soul mates to a disease. And I was very sad for him.

We tried hanging out again - like old times - but then I discovered something. He's not very nice and I don't like him. You live you learn.