Turn it down

I'm sitting here, on my love seat, in my living room wishing I lived in the country far far away from everyone. Far FAR away.
I can't even think. Its too loud. Way too loud.
What?
The neighbours. The neighbours music is SO loud that the wall is vibrating. Booming bass is banging and has been for half an hour.
How long do I have to listen to it before I can complain?
How many fucking times do I have to complain before they get that its just too bloody fucking loud?
For shit's sake they have a 6 month old baby who's hearing they are likely irreparably damaging. Four frigging kids and you CANNOT tell me that at 7pm they are sitting around playing monopoly and listening to some reggae shit turned up to 12 on their stereo. No freaking way.
I have no fucking idea what music they are listening too because there is no break between songs. Its like one big long booming song that has lasted over half an hour.
Now, this isn't the first time this has happened. Like I said, I've complained before. I've even called the police before. But these people don't GET it. If you turn your stereo to 11 it is too fucking loud. End of. It just is. It offends me. I can't hear my tv that is 4 feet from me. Wouldn't you think that they would learn that this makes me homicidal?
It its not over in the next 10 minutes.....I'm going to....oooooh....I'm going to go knock on the door and give them the "stink eye"!

Slight Delay

I apologize for the slight delay in posting my New Years Resolutions 2009 - I had to do some reading and research and make sure that I had all of my priorities and plans in order for the upcoming year.............ok - I don't believe me either. I am lazy. Exceptionally lazy. But that isn't the case this year - I swear to you I've just been really busy and somewhat preoccupied.
But, you know, its actually BETTER to make your resolutions on the 10th of January. I've already had a chance to test some of them out and fail at them and now I get a chance to modify and leave out ones that I just can't commit to. Yay for me.
So here we go.
You ready?
These are going to be awesome!

1. Distinguish who my true friends are, enjoy them, and tell them how much I do. Let the friends who aren't friends go.
I did this a bit last year (the letting go part) and it was one of the hardest things I've ever done. I miss bad experiences as much as good ones. I'm a bit of a masochist sometimes, I admit.
I think my whole need to recognize when I'm loved and by who motivates this whole assessment process for me. I feel like my constant need for approval makes me very vulnerable - my need to please and be everything to everyone is not helpful in friendships.
But, I was saying tonight - the good friends that I have are awesome. And I made new ones this year - yay. I sometimes these things become damaging though and I need to check that I'm ok.

2. Eat Less Crap.
I eat a lot of useless processed carb as a vegetarian. Now that I'm eating some meat again, I need to be careful that I don't eat useless processed meat crap.
As a family we have all but eliminated fast food.
Ok - we still get subs and shwarma but really, who could live a life without falafel? I ask you. Is a life without falafel worth living?
We are trying to cook everything from scratch which is yay for us healthy but a shitload of work.
No more spaghetti sauce from a jar - its made from scratch.
Oh yes - its work but hopefully worth it in the end - right?

3. Declutter my life.
I have lots and lots of crap. I need to organize said crap. Once the crap is organized, some crap must go. Some crap can stay.

4. Move my ass more.
This is one of those started and broken resolutions that I spoke about. On January 5th Ben and I started doing Pilates at 5:45am. We did 3 days and stopped for 2. Today we took a walk and used the exercise ball. I don't know if we will continue at 5:45 am. But we need to move MORE.
Fat ass = unhappy Sandra/

5. Read things that aren't plugged in.
I read a lot on line. This blog. Other blogs.
Magazines.
The paper.
Emails.
Facebook status.
IM that would make you blush and your eyes bleed from boredom.
But I have been reading the same novel since November and that's not good.
I got AWESOME books for Christmas - the Wicked series - and I need to read them.
The more I read the more I write.
Read. I need to read.

6. Take care of my money
I'm very private about money - so I won't talk about that here. But I need to admit that I need to handle it better.

7. Start saying NO
I need to say no to people when they ask me to do things that I don't want to do.
I also need to say no to people when I agree to things only to please THEM and not ME.
AND lastly I need to say no to people when its just TOO MUCH.
Examples? Oh geez - too many to count lately.
Like next week at work when I work on the Job Fair project whick I took on as the managing Programme Director only because I couldn't STAND to work as part of a team. I don't play well with others - this can sometimes, like in this case lead to a shitload of extra work.
Like this week when I will spend my Friday off (the first one I've had since November) opening car doors at the kiss and drop at school in the freezing fucking cold and then making snacks for 699 kids. I know I volunteer and I know I am the PTA-VP but sometimes I should just say no.
Like when the dishes pile up and I do them instead of going to bed.
Or when we need milk and I run out at 11pm.
Or when someone asks if I "mind" if they don't come in to work and I have to cover...
SO yes, no would be good. Occasionally.
See, I whine too much. Maybe I should make that a resolution!

8. Not say yes to everything
I need reminding.
The opposite of no is yes.
Sure also works.
I shall try to remember!


9. Not take on too much by learning to say, "Stop, that's too much"
See above.

10. Get a new job.
I might lose mine this year. Its a long story and I'll explain more later but basically, the government is moving stuff around. I may or may not have funding for my program after March 31st.
So - leaving might not be my choice.
But I'm going to be proactive and do something about it this time.
Honestly I have a great bunch of people who work for me - and I would miss them like nuts but I need to move on!

11. Get one more magazine to publish in.
Duh.
If I only write for Canadian Newcomer Magazine then I will be a specialist. I'm barely a professional, I don't want to be a pro-specialist.
I think I might head towards muscle or fitness publications...who knows! But I need to diversify!

12. Pay more attention to this blog. Sorry blog people. I neglect you when I get busy. I come, sometimes, only to bitch and complain. I sometimes pay more attention to facebook than I do you. So so so sorry. I promise to bring my joys and triumphs here as well as my tears and rants. Bad bad me.

Well - that's it. Startinggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg NOW!

Resolutions revisited

My friend Dan has a blog. Its here. In his blog, he does a "review" of last year's New Year's resolutions and gives himself pass or fail marks on them. I've decided to do something similar and let you all know just how I did.
I like a good resolution. Although, again, as anyone who knows me will tell you I rarely if ever manage to follow through on anything I resolve to do. I don't think that the making of resolutions is my problem. I think that following through on the resolutions is.
Here are the eight things I resolved to do or not do in 2008

1. I will not quit this stupid job until I get another one - and I will not stay in this job cause I kind of hate it.
Well, you see, this is a tough one because round about February of 2008 I started to really like my job.
So the question of whether or not to leave because I hated it became a moot point. I didn't want to leave.
Then, in the summer I became the company privacy officer which is a job that I actually really really enjoy. Then there was absolutely no question. I couldn't leave.
So now, here I sit with unemployment looming (the programme contract has not been extended past March 31 - YET) and no job in my future.
I'm writing exams for my privacy certification on January 21st - hopefully once I have that my place in the universe will be more secure. But who knows, career wise, where the wind will blow me.
Verdict? Fail. But ultimately - passed.
2. I will do the dishes.
I actually DO the dishes. Yesterday I did them 4 times! Grumble.
I still leave them occasionally but - wonder of wonders - I sometimes get hubby or son #1 to do them too! Yay.
Verdict - totally PASSED!
3. I will move.
Alright. We didn't move. But but but.......
Fine!
Verdict - Failed.
But I'm not unhappy about it.
4. I will win the war with chemical addictions.
Oh hell who am I kidding - I barely lasted 12 hours without diet coke.
Sure, I tried about 4 times to give it up - but I couldn't do it. I have that monkey on my back that just won't die. He's got his greedy little claws in my liver and he's giving me GAS but he won't let go!
Bastard monkey.
At least I didn't take up any NEW addictions.
That's something....right? right?
Verdict - Big bad ugly FAILURE!
5. I will stick to this vegetarian thing.
I did stick to the vegetarian thing.
I even took it a step further and went VEGAN for a bit.
I fought my cheese addiction.
And on Christmas eve I had a piece of beef.
Then I had an egg.
So, for the most part, 6 days a week - I am a vegetarian.
Go me.
I lost weight as a veggie, felt better, medications changed and all kinds of good things.
But, somewhere near the end of the years..........to be continued.........
Verdict - Pass! (mostly)
6. My body will not betray me.
Well, It didn't betray me, but it wasn't very nice.
I'm thinner than I was last year at this time.
But the peri-menopause is setting in and I'm starting to "old up".
I'd say, at this point, the body and I are friends.
Once we got the all clear on the "dying" front, we made a truce. Anything she can dream up to challenge me, I can handle.
Verdict - Pass
7. I will yell less.
Meh. Yelling is under-rated.
I mean, who's to say that my screaming isn't SOOTHING to some people?
Who's to say that its not the only reason the kids do anything?
I can't say that....can you?
Verdict - Fail. Miserably!
8. I will write more.
This resolution I rocked the ASS of of!
I wrote more here and in my other blogs which, if you really wanted to read you could email me and I could direct you to...
I wrote stories.
I even wrote a flipping poem. And, it didn't SUCK. I know - pretty freaking amazing isn't it?!?
I started writing for Canadian Newcomer Magazine and they actually PAY me for it.
If you think of writing like figure skating - I am being paid to write - therefore I have effectively turned PRO!
The first time I saw my name in print in a magazine thrilled me. I wanted to run around and scream and show everyone. I couldn't - I mean - that would be pathetic....right? But I felt like I had done something HUGE! Something I've always wanted to do anyway.
Verdict - Passed with flying colours.

All in all, 2008 was good - uneventful - which was my wish last year.
2009 I would like to be a building year - for bigger and better things. But, my friends, that's another blog!