Suburban Blues

I discovered sad scary things about the effects of living in suburbia this weekend.
The most horrific being that there are only 2 places to buy CDs in this town. Two. Yes two.
I wanted to buy Amy Winehouse - my husband thinks I'm insane, but I'm hoping to see her at Osheaga this fall and in spite of it taking a while for me to warm to her, I think I'm ready. But NO. Apparently here in Ajax, its not meant to be. For neither WalMart nor Futureshop have the CD. I'd like to think that they just sold out but, I'm not so sure. Nope. Not sure at all. It could be suburban conspiracy that is keeping out all negative influences. I did see an awful lot of Martina McBride. EW.
I also discovered that there is no place to just go for a drink in the middle of the day.
I'm having a particularly bad day people. One of those ones where something is wrong and I can't quite put my finger on it. I'm not sure if its because: my kids are sick and horrible today, or my husband is being an ass, my friends could care less because basically I haven't called any of them and they aren't psychic or anything, I see the doctor next week for next steps in the great cancer journey and everyone including me seems to have lost interest in my impending mortality and morbidity, I have no job and no prospects of said job, my EI hasn't kicked in yet, I have no money, I have no parents and no one to just reach in and tell me that its all okay.
I thought - good God - I'll just run away, hit some bar, have a couple of drinks and numb my senses for just a bit. Sure its a stupid idea - but what the fuck, I've done stupider stuff. But I couldn't even find a bar.
I live in the land of strip malls and superstores. We don't have bars or record stores, butchers or bakeries. We have assimilated all of these functions into one giant mastermall. If you go to the mall - you will see all of your neighbours and colleagues and friends there. Why? Because they have no where else to go either. There is zero anonymity here.
God, its so depressing.
So I came home, ate a bunch of good for me fruit, had a green tea and fell asleep watching "Pretty in Pink". I can't even self destruct properly. Probably I should have drank myself blind, ate chocolate bon bons and watched "Natural Born Killers".
I think its time to move.

ADDENDUM: I had a giant tequila, 3/4 of a bag of chips and some dip and ordered Amy Winehouse off Amazon.