My doctor rocks. I don't want to give the impression that I don't think that the sun shines out of his ass because I totally do. He's just anal retentive enough to worry about the right things but he is irreverant enough to tell me when I'm being insane.
Case and point - I showed up all teary and horrible. I'd been having panic attacks - he gave me tranquillizers which I dutifully carried around in my purse and never took. Still had the panic attacks - I just liked to know that I had the tranquillizers available....just in case. So I'm in his office - crying that the blubbering puke you all know I am - and I say through my tears "am I crazy?" and he says in his no nonsense way "no. actually you are psychotic." Strangely it made me feel better.
Then there was the time that Wayne dropped Ben - who was about 4 months old - on his head in the Toys R Us parking lot - just slipped and fell. The doctor told me his story....seems he and his wife (who is my gynecologist if anyone is keeping score out there) were giving their new baby a bath. Naked babies are slippery and they dropped their son head first into the toilet. He said, when you've done something THAT stupid - then we will talk about guilt!
He's pretty cool.
He's also on vacation in Europe with his wife and kids (neither of whom have brain damage) from June 21 to Septemeber 8th. Ack.
So instead of leaving my final diagnosis/prognosis/treatment plan to a locum, he referred me to his wife's boss - the head of gyne at Sunnybrook (big Toronto Hospital). Tomorrow afternoon, she decides what happens to me. Do I go to an oncologist? More tests? Chemo? Radiation? Are we done? Just starting? If there is a 90% recurrance rate - WTF? Where is that primary cancer anyway? Could I really be so lucky?
I wish my Doctor was here. I could use the irreverence. I could use a friend there with me really. I'm scared putrid to be totally honest. I imagine the doctor would say, as he has before "we're all going to die stupid, its just a question of when". And ironically that would make me feel better.
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