Rearranged

When I opened my email box today, there was email from someone I hadn't heard from in months. It wasn't a reply to an email I'd sent - it was honest to God unsolicited communication. And, my heart skipped a beat! I got that funny in my tummy oooooh hurry to get to the inbox feeling!
Do you get that too?
Like when someone you really like - who you hardly ever hear from signs in to MSN and the computer makes its little "DOOT" to tell you that they are there....and because you promise yourself NOT to be the girl that MSNs the second that other people sign in you suck in your breath just in case just in case they message you!
oOOOOOOOOOH and when they do - and MSN makes it heart churning "dootaldoo" to let you know that someone - this one - wants to talk to you - oh the excitement!
Its not the frequency or infrequency of contact that I have with the sender that makes me exctied for these emails and (usually) middle of the night e-conversations. I have that same "a cute boy likes me" lift to my spirits through the telephone as well. And, lord help me, of course they are all from boys - and not necessarily ones that LIKE like me if you know what I mean and you do.
Why are these particular communications so uplifting? They are from people that I like and people that make me happy. Not that everyone doesn't make me happy in some way (except THOSE people) its just some people make me that kind of special happy. The kind that makes your heart skip a beat. Not love or sex or romance happy - just regular old run of the mill special happy.
When I get email from my cousins it takes a dogs age for me to respond. Its hard to find the words to say and things to talk about - coming from me that's weird, eh? If blabbing was an Olympic sport I could talk for Canada! But those conversations take WORK. The special ones are not work at all - just stuff you want to say for the pure joy of saying it.
Some people are easy to write to - those people who hear you talk when you write - that's different. Even my friend from this morning - who so rarely writes back, is the easiest person in the world to email.
Back in the day, we would exchange email 5 times a day...not so much anymore as life wiggles its way in the middle of chats sometimes. When I would email him I would sign them all "love you, S". At one point, I sent out an email to a work colleague and signed it "love you, s" - and hit send - luckily it was a work colleague with a good sense of humour cause it was humiliating. To this day, I force myself to re-read even the smallest tiniest emails in case at some point, I have told the person somewhere in the email that I love them...cause that might be wrong!
So thank you to the people who make my tummy and my spirits flutter when I've got mail - it makes me shiver with anticipation.
love you,
S