Black Plastic

There is a black garbage bag stuck in the tree outside the window of my office. I keep seeing it out of the corner of my eye and thinking maybe that it’s a bird or a flag or something. And then I turn my head – look at it – and it’s still a black plastic garbage bag stuck in a tree.
It makes no sense that it’s stuck up there. I’m on the 3rd floor of an office tower. The tree is equally as tall as the building. How can crap have blown so high?
It’s the crap of the spring thaw. You know the kind where you find pennies and old chewing gum packaging as you walk around? It gets all hidden and mysterious over the winter and then all of the sudden just one day, it’s released.
No – this all has no deeper metaphorical meaning. There really is a black plastic bag and there really are pennies and crap in the snow. Nothing deep going on here today.
I’m really quite tired, blog people.
It doesn’t seem to matter what is going on in my life I will find one reason or another to be tired and indulge my chronic insomniac fantasies.
Am I really a chronic insomniac or am I just a freak that doesn’t like to sleep? Tell me that, will you!
The doctor actually referred me to the Toronto Sleep Clinic for a diagnosis for whatever the fuck is wrong with my sleep pattern. No. Of course I didn’t go. Have you met me?
I suspect that the doctor thinks that because I am a giant girl with big boobs that crush my chest that I have sleep apnea. Sleep apnea is where you stop breathing during the night. It is often characterized by excessive snoring – not that I snore more than a kitten would – and exasterbated by weight. I refuse to have this.
I think some times I keep myself awake on purpose. I know I can survive on a half hour of sleep – so why not? I will be fine. I always am.
What if I don’t get everything done – I better stay awake and finish it.
What if something happens and I’m asleep? Then I’ll be annoyed.
What if someone wants to call me or write me – I’d want to be awake as soon as the email arrives. I wouldn’t want to keep anyone waiting for my oh so important reply.
So I stay awake. Often doing absolutely nothing. Often watching re-runs of Little House on the Prairie or Saved by the Bell and wishing it was still 1985.
Lately I’ve been writing – which is at least a tiny bit more productive than sitting on my ass.
I wish if I was going to stay up all night I could be on the floor on a cute pink or possible purple yoga mat doing leg strengthening exercises and hundreds of thousands of really properly done crunches. Ah – that’s the life.
But I don’t. Instead I catch something out of the corner of my eye and have to turn my head to look at it – sigh and carry on doing nothing.