Its a Jelly Bean World

Spare time.
What is spare about spare time?
I don't seem to have any leftover - sitting on a shelf somewhere like the chili that grew fur in my fridge last week: it was leftover from the leftover leftover's leftovers and over and over and over again. I threw it away.
But time is more immediately wasted.
At the end of the day if I haven't slept enough or spent enough time doing something or too much time doing something else, then its just gone.
Its like every day they give you 8,963 jelly beans and you can eat them all whenever you want for what ever reason. But, at the end of the day, all of the jelly beans must be gone.
The trick is to not eat them all at once so they make you sick.
Don't eat all green ones or you have a heart attack.
All pink ones will make you lonely.
All white ones will make you mean.
And the purple ones? Don't even ask!
But, who decides what the perfect balance of beans is?
Who decides, this guy gets more blue and you get more yellow and NO ORANGE for anyone!???
What if you aren't hungry and day after day after day, you just eat too many brown ones and sleep too much and can't eat all the lime ones?
What if you finish the jelly beans at the middle of the day?
Can you get more?
Nope.
Not even if you steal them or beg them or borrow them.
You can't trade them - they are only for you.
You can tell people which ones you think they should eat - but they don't belong to you so its ultimately THEIR decision.
From the second we're born we have jelly beans.
Some days I've been worried that I've dropped mine all on the floor. Some are dirty and I don't eat them and some are just lost. I live in constant fear of overindulgence and waste. But spare? None of mine are spare.