Getting the Cheese Monkey off my Back

I have a monkey on my slightly slimmer vegetarian back. Monkey thy name is cheese.
(NOTE: I know the picture is of a RAT with cheese on its back - but come on - its SPARKLY CHEESE!) I've said a dozen times in the past to my vegan friend - lets call him "Vegan Guy" - A life without cheese is a life I'm not willing to live. But, you know, I kind of think I may be changing my mind.
I am very much about visualization.
I like to imagine how things will go in my minds eye and then I can imagine where they will end up. You know, its how prepare myself mentally.
I read this book - Wally Lamb's "She's come undone" and in it the heroine (if she could be called that) loses a bunch of weight. She explained that her weight loss method was to imagine all of her food with mould and decay on it. It grossed her out so badly that she wasn't able to eat and lost weight. Ta da. Good idea - right?
So - I've been using that to help me as well. I seriously haven't had a hard time adjusting to this meatless life because when I even remotely crave meat, I visualize the animal. Carved up bleeding head off animal. UGH
Now, let me tell you, I didn't start this change in lifestyle because I cared about baby chickens and saving the poor trapped veal calf - living in a tiny white hut chained to its home - fed only milk. Nope - I could have given a royal rats rump. This change was all about me. Screw the animals.
Or.
Well okay well maybe I do care. A bit. And picturing the animal really really has helped.
On New Years day I roasted a turkey - something I've done a million times in my life. This one though - this one gagged me.
I touched its slimy skin.
I pulled out some stray feathers.
I washed it and dried it.
I pulled out a bag of its guts.
I touched the bones in its disembodied neck.
And I cooked it.
And I carved it.
And I didn't eat it.
And my kids didn't eat it.
My husband ate it. All of it. In one week, my husband ate an ENTIRE turkey (except for whatever Doug ate). And today while he munched down the final serving of my famous turkey ala king, I pictured a turkey in my head and felt really quite ill.
It was that bit of throw up in the back of my mouth that tipped the scale. I think I'm ready to be done with cheese. Its made from milk. Milk from a cow usually. Cow milk is food for baby cows. Not for me. Baby cows. UGH.
I've been cruising vegetarian chat rooms for weeks now. Reading. Exploring. Trying to find out how to shake the cheese monkey on my back.
Some people say that if you crave stuff its because your body needs it. You should give in to the craving because your body needs the calcium. Calcium. If my body needs calcium why am I not craving spinach or salmon with the bones in it?
Some people say that if you crave stuff you just have to ride it out. Suck it up buttercup.
Others suggest substituting soy or rice versions. But I don't want fake cheese just like I don't want fake meat.
But the advice I like best is one that I've followed for lots of other things. If you can give up something for 3 weeks - just 3 weeks then you can give it up forever. It takes 3 weeks to form a new habit (and apparently only 6 days to break one).
I'm still in the contemplation phase folks so don't get too excited. But really. I can do this. As I go to bite into that wonderful wedge of Gouda I will try mooing to myself......just a quiet baby cow moo. "why are you taking my mommy's milk lady? moo"
OH - and btw - the kids requested - yes REQUESTED the brown rice pasta with homemade veggie sauce and soy meatless meatballs - and tomorrow - that is their lunch. Yay!
I'm getting there.