Where have you gone?

I am somebody's Mom.
Of course I am.
And normally, I'm quite good at it.
I know the right vitamins to feed them.
We have food charts with all 38 of the required food groups.
We use tupperware that is all recyclable for the perfect boomerang lunch.
We have chore charts and allowances.
I belong to the PTA.
We have activities and play dates.
We have a limit on computer time and age appropriate video games.
We have healthy snacks.
We check homework.
We have an "asthma plan".
We wear clean pjs every day.
I try so very hard.

But the kids are whiney. Super whiney.
I don't know how to fix it. I just don't know how.
Is the answer herbs?
Behaviour modification?
Councelling?
Change in diet?

I just don't know. What is the secret?
Do I need to read that Doctor Phil book? Could Dr. P help?
Don't tell me I have to call Super Nanny??!?!

My cousin Amy, who is 30 something now, was the whiniest child in the history of the world. She sucked her thumb until she was almost 12. She pouted for ever. She just breathed complaints. Until she hit her teens. She was the most agreeable person ever come age 16. Now, Amy has 2 kids of her own. She is one of my favourite people in the world.

So, Amy gives me hope. Hope that this is a phase that they will grow out of. I'm sure it is but, frankly, how do we all make it through ALIVE?

I see so many of my friends make bad horrible mistakes with their kids.

I see their kids go off the rails. Get in trouble with drugs and the law. Get kicked out of school or drop out of school. These people thought that they were good parents too.

I can't rely on the hope that my children are anti-social nerds to be the plan for the future.

There is nothing worse than seeing your child hurt. The boo boos hurt physical or mental or social. I can't even seem to handle my own social interactions and friendships let alone those of my kids.

I can't protect them.

I remember when Ben was 3. The little girl next door, Jodi, was 4. He always wanted to play with Jodi and be with Jodi. And Jodi held ALL the cards all the time. One day in particular, Ben asked Jodi if he could come and play and she SHUT HIM DOWN. NO. And Ben started to cry....Jodi won't let me play....and I tried to soothe him - its okay - another day - you'll be okay. Ben screamed "but I LOVE her!" In a voice that made me believe that he really truly did love her. And although his heart seemed broken, I can't tell you how it gutted me. His first rejection - his first unrequited love - and he was 3.

How do you mend a broken heart? Hell if I know.