And the Oscar goes to...

For someone who is used to doing things half-assedly and never truly completing anything to the best of their ability, I am finding my recent completion of stuff quite disturbing. I feel an "episode" coming on!
I've managed to do my taxes not only from 2005 but from 2006 as well. On time. Sent in. Refund received. Off the hook until next year. This is unprecidented.
I've finished the course I was taking and found out that I am a solid B student. I was a B student in high school, a B student in University and now I'm a B student in Adult Continuing Ed at College. Woo hoo for consistency!
I've paid my bills, done some projects for the PTA and even started and finished a scarf for someone for Christmas NEXT YEAR!
I'm feeling a bit out of sorts though - and that tends to happen to me when this very extremely rare phenomenon of achievement occurs. Unless I have a dozen half done projects on the go, I get panicky about what to do and what to do next. Its the same reason that I read 3 novels at a time - what would I do if I finished one?!?!
What generally will happen next is that I will start to shirk thinks - you know - make plans and cancel them. Unless I feel like I really HAVE to do something or that it involves the kids - that I am obligated to do it - I won't.
I become the dreaded cancelling friend. You know what that is and you all have one. Admit it. You ALL have a cancelling friend who makes plans and then cancels at the last minute. I have one friend who I actuall make bets with myself how they will get out of the plans that we've made and let me tell you, I'm VERY good.
I don't mean to be this way. It could be part of my charm. It could be part of my mental illness. Who knows.
There are a bunch of things coming up that I actually want to do - I hope I don't fuck up and cancel them. I am taking bets that I will. My fear of something will win out. That niggling inadequacy will creep in. The overwhelming sense of not belonging that I fight against will tip me over and pour me out. My imagination will run wild.
All of this just so that I have more to worry about. I wouldn't want to make anything too easy on myself now, would I?