Let's hear it for the boys

Tonight I was having a nice soccer-mom-type chat with one of my son's friend's Mom's and making arrangements to get my son to her son's birthday party. As we discussed the massiveness of the party, I said that my husband would drop him off because I was going away for the weekend. She said - "Are you going for work or with the girls? I go away twice a year with the girls - once skiing and once to play golf!"
My answer was slightly more complicated. So I told a version of the truth. I'm going away to visit friends in Windsor.
Truth be told, I have no "girls". As a general rule, girls don't like me and I don't like them.
From the time I was 8 years old I have almost always had friends that were boys. I tried and tried to have girlfriends but it just never stuck.
When I was around 9 I tried and tried to hang out with Lisa and Maria. But, they went to the catholic school around the corner and it just never seemed to work out. Okay - they really didn't seem to like me much and only wanted me around when they were fighting with each other or looking for a scapegoat or someone to mistreat. But, why not blame religious differences!
I then tried Debbie. While she did teach me how to melt eyeliner on the lightbulb in the bathroom so that it went on hot and stayed on - which i definitely appreciated, she was a sharp as a pillow. I couldn't then and I can't now abide by people who can't keep up.
However, I did meet Rick through Debbie. Ironically, they were dating. When they broke up, I inherited Rick and Debbie found God.
Rick and I did everything together and went everywhere in each others pockets. He was my first gay boyfriend. I found out that he was gay when he started dating the twins, Mark and Mike.
After Rick I found a plethera of boys. I seemed to trip over them everywhere I went - school, work, home - everywhere. Soon came, in no particular order: Jamie, Lindsay, Doug (I lost my virginity to Doug - LONG story for another day!), Joey, Victor, Rick, Bill, Dan, Rob, George, Steve&Levi, Dave, David, Mike, Steven, Cameron & Sandy another Rick and another Dan and looks like another Dan.
When I got married, I had a terrible time. There was a lot of pressure to have bridesmaids. My mother insisted on 4. I have my cousin Amy who I dearly love. I fought my mom something fierce. She let me have a best man instead of a maid of honour - and of course it was my bff Rick. But I had to come up with 2 girls I could tolerate.
Michelle and Denise. From work. I swear they fought with each other through the whole thing. If it hadn't been for them jockeying for Rick's attention (pick me I'm ever so much prettier!)and him refereeing, I would have killed them both.
One weekend they had to share a room and they both came to me and confided that they hadn't slept at all. Denise said she couldn't sleep for Michelle's snoring. Michelle said she didn't get a wink of sleep because Denise snored too much. Which one was asleep enough to snore?????
See now, boys are much less complicated. I stayed at Bill's place one weekend in the basement. Rick and I shared one bed and Dave stayed in the other. Dave snores so loud he wakes the dead. So, the trick is to fall asleep before Dave does then the next day mock him mercilessly. Not bitch behind his back and definitely not whine. That, my friends, is the difference between girls and boys. Bitching and whining. Its really THAT simple.
I've tried other times, with no great success to hang with girls. It never seems to work. I'm either irritated by them or bored or ostracized. Its unnnatural for me.
Michelle came to stay with me last spring for a weekend and I said something about Rick. Her response was that I had to "give up the fag hag thing" because it wasn't "working for me". What?
I've been a lot of things in my life but I don't think I ever consider myself a fag hag. Okay well I've been a date to a million weddings and Christmas parties but that was just hanging with a friend to me. I did have a gay boyfriend once. And a gay prom date. But, where do you draw the line? What makes you a hag? Self definition?
Sure, 99% of my friends are gay. All of them also have brown hair. About half are adopted and only one has living parents. Really the only other thing they have in common is me. Perhaps I am the common thread.
So, I started this blog with a purpose - but unfortunately, I am left with only a question. What's odd? - the fact that all of my friends are gay men or the theory that girls don't like me and I don't like girls? Hmmmm. And I suppose, what does it really matter?